Sunday, September 13, 2009

Caught in the Act: The Car Incident

I once dated a guy who was masterful at car sex. By dated, I mean that I intended to hook up with him once, but the sex was too damn good. Anyway, he was rather acrobatic, and I am flexible, so we were able to use the small confines of a vehicle to achieve positions that would’ve been unattainable in bed.

One of our favorite parking spots was lakeside in a nearby small town. On one occasion, the cool night air combined with our automobile aerobics to steam up the windows. Think “Titanic”. Hand prints (and footprints) sliding down the glass; you get the picture.

After 20 minutes or so of bouncing the car like a pogo stick, we pulled on our clothes on, and exited the vehicle to cool off a bit. We were surprised to encounter two fisherman sitting by the lake, who hadn’t been there when we’d parked the car. They smiled knowingly, then applauded our performance.

They applauded! Surely I should have been appalled. I was a bit embarrassed, certainly.

Had I known anyone had arrived on the scene, I absolutely would have stopped the proceedings, and sought a more private setting. Still, I did not experience the shame I would’ve expected at not only being caught in the act, but being watched for at least some portion of it.

Instead, I felt bizarrely proud that our show met with our audience’s approval. This confused me, as I’ve never considered myself an exhibitionist, nor had any wish to act out some secret porn star fantasy. While I admit that the possibility of getting caught felt exciting, I never seriously envisioned the reality could be so.

Of course, there’s no doubt the embarrassment level would have been heightened had the fishermen decided to involve the local authorities, instead of merely taking in the show. Having a police record of any kind does not appeal to me. I can only imagine the ways in which such an offense appearing in my file would complicate my life, and definitely not for the better.

So having dodged that bullet, I am left to wonder: why does the prospect of being caught in the act still excite?


  1. A delightful and terribly amusing story! I've never met them, but I rather like those fishermen. But, surely, if the windows were steamed up, they wouldn't have seen much?

  2. One hopes! Unfortunately, I suspect with all the hands and feet and bums pressing/brushing against the glass repeatedly, much of the fog was cleared off by the time of the epic finale. Funny, the memory embarrasses me more now than when I posted it some hours ago.

    I suppose that like attraction, humiliation can fluctuate!

  3. I have to admit... I was one of those fishermen! LOL! Great story.

    Thank you for visiting, and posting such wonderful insight on Coachyourmind... much appreciated.

    I'll definitely be following, as I'm looking forward to some exciting reading!


  4. Ha -- then I should thank you for not alerting the authorities!

    Thanks for the add. I also look forward to keeping up with your blog. I can use the life lessons! :)

  5. What a funny story!

    I've never been caught when we have tried the outdoors... but, I love the IDEA of getting caught?

    So when you find out why? Let me know! :)

    HNT is Half Nekked Thursday where people take pics and show them off on Thursdays! :)

    check out on Thursday and then join in the fun!!!

  6. lifechick...I know your embarassment....I have been caught or unknowingly been watched having sex and the reaction is something like this...oh s**t...wonder what they saw...don't know them...probably will never see them again...gee that was fun

    thanks for your posting

  7. Thanks Elle, both for your comment and the HNT explanation. I'm new here, but learning so much already!

    FG Sakes, I do think my embarrassment would've been heightened had I thought there was any possibility of seeing those fisherman again. Or if it was someone who knew me that caught us. Since that wasn't the case, I was able to enjoy the risque element of it all.

  8. Who doesn't like the idea of getting caught? Glad your accidental limelight moment was met with applause instead of handcuffs! (Well, police handcuffs, anyway.)

    Also, I'm so jealous to hear of anyone having positive experiences with car sex! All of my memories of it are awkward and clammy -- strictly high school in quality, at least, if not actual age.

  9. Delightful little post! I only laugh because I've never been caught in the act. If I had, I assure you, my face would be as red as yours.


  10. That Kind of Girl: this may be my fault. I have never had a *bad* car sex experience, so perhaps I took the positive ones you should've had, and you got my crappy ones instead. My apologies!

    A Woman Made of Dust: that's alright - I wouldn't post it if it wasn't meant for laughter! I am usually the first one to laugh at myself, because I find life so much more enjoyable that way!

  11. Hi,
    Great post and very funny! I think sometimes the danger factor with sex can make things even better you know - add a bit of risk to things. I may have blocked most of this out but did once end up having sex on a fairly public street - I really hope it was late enough that people walking past were too drunk to notice.

    Kate x

  12. Ha, you're braver than me by far! If a woman can get performance anxiety, that situation would have triggered it for me!

  13. This is a classic story, and I love it! I don't know why the act of getting caught is so attractive, but I have found it to be enticing, as well. The Boy has opened me up to a lot of ideas, and so nothing really shocks me anymore! Congrats on meriting an applause from the fishermen. I'd be proud too!

  14. That's great. Just make sure none of the new ideas lead to incarceration! ;)

  15. We must be two peas from the same pod, lifechick! Except your pod was a car and unfortunately, my pod was Dillards.

    You know those fishermen went home and gave it to their wives good that night!

    Great post!

  16. LMAO! Please tell me that's the subject of a future blog post. Sounds like a hilarious story!

  17. I would bet $10 that those "fishermen" only go fishing when a car gets parked!

    Fisherman 1: Hey Merle, that camaro is back!

    Fisherman 2: Grab your pole!

    Fisherman 1: Already done - I dialed you with one hand!


  18. Carrie,

    No wonder they didn't call the cops. They didn't want to spoil their own fun!

  19. SO lame ...I have NEVER had car sex!!!!

  20. You've NEVER had car sex? You'll have to get around to that at some point. By the looks of it, you're gonna need a big car!